what if i suck...

so i've been honored...asked to write one of the hardest things of my life. i'm writing a reference letter for a couple that i consider some of my best friends. i've already composed 7 different drafts. i'm not happy with one of them. it's not because i'm struggling to find things to say about this couple...it's that i have too much to say. i feel like i'm not being concise enough. i'm sitting here crying because i have so many good things to say about these people. how they've been there for me every step of the way since i've moved to this place. they unknowingly stepped into an empty part of my life filling in for my friends and family that, due to distance, can't be there for me in the ways this couple can. i have learned from them. lessons i may not have wanted to learn, but they so patiently taught me anyway. i'm so excited that they are on their way to becoming parents. it's so much more emotional than i had ever thought it would be. i can't help but thinking, if i'm this excited & this emotional about my close-as-family family getting their own child, i can't even imagine the emotions that are going to ransack my mind & body when my family offers me the title of Aunt as well. y'all, seriously, i'm NOT a crier...but i've been sitting here crying for the past 1/2 hour trying to put all these good things into a concise, professional, fun letter to let others know what great hands this kid will be placed in. i think i'm a bit nervous at letting them down. i know i'm over analyzing this, i know that, but i want this to be a perfect reflection of what perfect parents i know they will be. ok, seriously, i'm wiping up the blubbering & heading to bed...'night...

Our Prayers Are With You Italy...

91 dead, 1,500 injured in central Italy quake...

People walk on the street as they leave their homes after an earthquake, in downtown Aquila April 6, 2009. A powerful earthquake struck a huge swathe of central Italy as residents slept on Monday morning, killing people when houses, churches and other buildings collapsed, officials said. (REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi )

And You Shalled Be Named...

TATOR-TOT

As many of you know, my brother-in-law & sister-in-law are in the process of adopting a precious bundle of joy from Taiwan! I’m both super excited & a scoch jealous of them for this. Adoption has always been something I’ve looked forward to in the process of expanding my family one day. I’ve wanted this since I was little, way before the Brangelina-eclectic-family-craze. (Let me insert a disclaimer here: my brother/sister-in-law are NOT following a craze, they are adopting out of the purest love & a desire for a child of their own.)
So I’m super excited they get to experience the joy of adoption which is awesome & I get to live vicariously through them on this venture, which is super awesome! There’s just the most miniscule part of me that is jealous that they are at that point in their lives. I mean, by no means am I ready to actively seek the expansion of my own family, but seeing the joy on their faces makes me wish a little we were at that point ourselves—but only a little, don’t read any further into that my friends.
Back to the excitement! So the brother/sister-in-law have begun the tedious journey of the adoption application process, and boy is it a doozey! I’m not going to delve into their personals here, but anyone who knows anything about adopting knows how in depth this whole process goes. I on the other hand only have to hear about these things lending an ear here & there, etc. (sweet deal!)
But I’ve hit quite the conundrum…what are we going to call this kid until, to quote my sister-in-law, "he/she" gets here??? I’ve been racking my brains since the moment I discovered I was to be an aunt as to the perfect gender neutral name. I refused to be cliché with a “Squirt” or “Peanut” or anything of the like. In desperation, I resulted to calling "he/she" Lil’ Raney until I could dream up THE PERFECT NICKNAME for my niece/nephew-to-be. I’m sure there are those of you out there rolling your eyes right now, as if the right nickname is not a big deal. But oh, you are so wrong! The wrong nickname can ruin a kid, set them up for a life of failure, of endless teasing, oh, the horror! I cannot be responsible for the ruin-ation of Lil’ Raney. So I thought, and thought, and thought…I mean we’re going on months here that I’ve known this kid will be in my life some day and I can’t think of an affectionate yet awesome term of endearment other than Lil’ Raney?? What has become of me?
Fear not, internet! For last night I was mulling over possible names for this kid, and it hit me like a mac truck sliding on black ice down I-65 this side of Mount Eagle!
Tator-tot!
I know, I know, blank stares, right? It’s ok…you probably need a little back story here. When I was first enlightened in the situation surrounding this decision for brother/sister-in-law it was a lunch date with the Sister-In-Law. We went to Sonic…this is where I learned all about everything and couldn’t have been more blessed to be a part of, excited to help in any way possible, and eager to do my part. The point? I’m getting there. What are the 2 most amazing things on the menu at Sonic? Onion Rings & Tator Tots, duh! Well you can’t call a kid Onion Ring…what if "he/she" has some body odor issue? Then it’ll be forever reminded of this issue every time Aunt Tricia comes around, sadness, I can’t be liable for heartache caused to that dear little being! No, no, instead I opted for Tator-Tot. How cute is that?!? I mean really, it may take you awhile to warm up to it, and I’m ok with that…to be honest I didn’t even really run it by the parents before I chose "his/her name. But I love it and I plan on getting it put on as much baby stuff as I can when the time comes! Now it IS important that Tator-Tot is ALWAYS hyphenated, because otherwise people will feel the need to shorten that poor kids name to TT…and that’s just a road that leads to no good. However, if Tator-Tot remains hyphenated, the name can only be shortened to “T” which is totally cool ‘cause that’s the first letter of my own name and will, by association, make the kid that much cooler!

So little Tator-Tot wherever you may be (conceived or not) I love you so much & can’t wait until I meet you! You are blessed already with the most amazing and loving parents any kid could ever ask for. You’re going to have such a blast growing up…just wanted you to know!
~Love,

2 months, 16 days & counting...

So for anyone that knows me, they know i LOVE birthdays. my birthday, your birthday, suzy-strangers birthday, it doesn't matter. granted if it happens to be my birthday it's that much better, but i'm totally non biased in whose birthday i'm celebrating. i mean really, Husband never has to worry about forgetting my birthday because in the Siclari family we start the countdown at 364. as in i have 2 months & 16 days until my 26th birthday! but don't tell my seester i'm already counting down, because under the Sibling Law i'm not allowed to count down until her birthday has passed; she only has 21 days left, & my lil' seester has 2 months & 5 days left. little seester tried to pull the Sibling Law on her birthday (that i'm not allowed to count down my birthday till after hers) but she's a YOUNGER sibling, so it didn't pass.
now, Siclari's expect thier birthday to be all about them. this doesn't mean anyone needs to spend large sums of money on them, it merely means, get creative. make the day ALL ABOUT them. anyway, i say all this to inform you, internet, that i am already planning the greatness of my birthday. i decided to write about it here because often Husband gets on & reads my blog. and this year, i want something slightly monitary...i want an icecream cake! i've never really set aside standards for my birthday celebration...and Husband has always done an INCREDIBLE job, but this year i'm really craving ice cream cake. i know, i know, my birthday is still 2 months & 16 days away, but that's what i'm craving. there are a few other things i wouldn't mind happening on that day, but icecream cake would be a swell way to start the day...just saying. :)

so you had a bad day...

i've recently had a rough few weeks. days just seem to stay dreary or get progressively worse as the day goes on. as i've talked to my friends...turns out i'm not the only one with crappy after crappy week. so i decided to compile a list of video clips that never fail to bring a smile to my face...maybe they'll help you too!

1. Near Sighted
i have a short cut to this one on my desktop, it never fails to make me die laughing!

2. Evil Eye
OH. MY. GOSH. i want this kid!

3. Charlie Bit Me
makes me wish i could have british babies...

4. 3 Year Olds & Monsters
bwahahaha!

5. Blooood
this poor kid is so concerned & serious, bless his heart

6. Post Dentist
this is a recent addition to my favorites...

7. Mother's Day
priceless

8. Can I have it?
constantly quoted

9. Facebook 25
i agree with most of these

10. Hair Flip
hee hee hee, just funny

barefoot, thinmints, ahh...

Worst. Day. Ever...or at least a pretty crappy day that ranks pretty high on the crappiest days list (and yes, i keep a list...)
it's actually an accumulation of the last few days really.

• i'm frustrated with work.
• i'm frustrated with not being fully trained, but seeing people who lied on their resume get sent to further their education.
• i'm really tired of people doing NOTHING and getting away with it.
• i'm tired of feeling like an idiot because of things i haven't been taught.
• i'm tired of being inside ALL day.
• i'm tired of wanting to just scream all the time.

i can't really get into details...i mean we've all heard stories about how blogging about work can get you into trouble. but let's just say today was a constant struggle to keep insanity at bay. i can't seem to get ahead, much less caught up. i seem to get every call that pointed out all my incompetence...and we all know how much i HATE ignorance (even more so when i'm on the ignorant end). i just couldn't catch a break...AT ALL. it was all i could do not to break down out of anger or sadness or just plain patheticness. and of course that just made things worse. turning my day into a vicious cycle of anger, fight the urge to cry, fight the urge to scream "i quit!", anger, well you get the picture. by the end of the day all i could think about was curling up with a big glass of wine & some girl scout cookies....but i had places to be, so that would have to wait.
worse yet? husband is gone until saturday...so pretty much the one person i have here in "this place" to unload on is, well, absent. suck! thank goodness i have great long distance buddies...they let me get lot's of crap out of my system before i got to my "places to be". thanks also to some new local friends worrying over my status and inviting me for, ahem, fun tomorrow night! yay!

oh, and to top off the day...i FORGOT my dog was at the in-laws, why because adam always gets her! am i a bad parent on top of a crappy person in general? geeze!
anyway, i'm chillin' writing my excerpt of the day with my wine, girl scout cookies, knowing i have the best friends ever!

The Joys of Public Radio

Imagine you are on your way to work in the morning, listening to your favorite morning radio station, say Kidd Kraddick in the Morning, for instance. Say they're doing a segment on things women wear that guys can't stand...crocs, ugg's, gladiator sandals, the like. Guys are calling in complaining about various & sundry things that they can't stand. Then this one caller is put on the radio, and asked what it is he can't stand, "Kidd, I hate it when my wife wears any clothes at all." And you're all, yeah he's married to a swim suit model! Kelly, one of the radio personalities, says, "wow, that's a lucky woman, not every husband says that." Then the caller continues to talk, "...I love when my wife doesn't have clothes on..." and you pay a little more attention because you swear that voice sounds vaguely familiar. Then Kidd, asks, "Well Adam, you wouldn't want her wearing nothing in public though, huh?"Adam replies, "Oh, no! No! But once we're home I see no need for her to have clothes on at all!"Then it happens, you KNOW why you know that voice...your breath catches in your THROAT because you KNOW that voice...that voice is your husband! on public radio! that his father listens to! that your co-workers listen to!Oh! My! God!
You immediately whip out your phone crazed & start punching buttons:
Me: Adam Michael!!!!!
Adam: :-)
Adam: I made it on the radio!!! :-)
Me: Yeah...so i heard :) along with all my co-workers
Adam: Yey!! :-)
So once i get to work i immediately tell my best friend & sister-in-law my embarrassing story. With all the love & compassion she can muster she burst into uncontrollable laughter and states, "i've gotta call Jace!" So she does, and we relay the story, as we continue to laugh. many comments were made & we all had a good laugh. Once i get back downstairs to my desk i get the following:
Emily: Shelly heard him.
Me: Oh my god...
Emily: Hehe
Adam: My dad just called and said he got a text from Jace, to call me and ask about Kidd Kraddick. :-)
Me: What did you tell him?
Adam: What i said. :-) he laughed and said he can't believe he missed it. :-)

I get this email from one of my co-workers:
Your husband doesn’t like for you to wear clothes????? He he he he...kinky

I heard it on the radio. I didn’t know it was Adam, but Emily told me.
That’s so awesome. Emily said that he was so excited to be on the radio. I would be too!!!


that, internet, is what you get when you finally get your husband to let loose. he let's loose all right, all over public radio!

If you have the patience, listen here: Zine Scene Fashion Tips Pt 1 03/06/09 it's toward the end...but it's there.