never gonna happen...

if i were to be honest i don't know how many of you have a person in your life, or more than one in some (my) cases, a person that destroyed who you were. that destroyed everything you had. shredded the tiny, tiny threads you clung to to keep your life from unfraying before your eyes. one of those people has somehow managed to try and weasel himself back into my life. it's not the first time. but everytime it's just as hard. i'm left feeling vulnerable, scared, & confused. i. hate. feeling. vulnerable.
i've spent my life fighting against being vulnerable. but this guy. this guy that ruined my life...he won't stop. everytime i think its safe he tracks down some form of contact & tells me we should talk. i don't *want* to talk. i don't *want* ANYTHING to do with him.
for...give...ness
it's been given because i *had* to forgive to move on. to repair my life. to repair my soul. but i will NEVER forget the damage he did. the pain & anguish that my entire family dealt with because of him. and i will not allow him back into my life. ever. again.
i've told him such. time. and time. and time. again.
he doesn't care. it's like he's getting off on torturing me at the very moment i feel safe. the instant i forget & put it all behind me. I. WANT. IT. TO. END. a thousand times over i want it to end! i'm so tired of this battle. of this recurring nightmare.
i just want it to be over...