Sometimes God Reminds Me...

Sometimes, God reminds me it's not about me. my last post was intense, it was raw, and unfortunately it was real. i realize that all the people in my life aren't or weren't aware of many of those things until that post. i put it out there, selfishly, i needed to be free. even more selfishly though, there are very few people i could go in depth with to describe, explain, relive those experiences with.  i was humbled by the outreach i received from that post. of the love & support bestowed upon me by those i love...even those i haven't had the privilege to meet yet.
a first time visitor to my blog (Mandy) read it and used it. she was impacted because God chose to give me the life He did, the experiences that triggered that blog. she saw that i was using my blog, my random confessions as a form of catharsis. she took that back to her blog (this is why i love the blogosphere!) and she opened her comments section to anonymous confessions by asking readers to finish this sentence: "What if I told you....". if i'm honest with you, my first thoughts were incredibly conceited. i was a little excited that someone, and someone with a larger blog, chose my words to use and to take further. that vanity lasted only a few short moments, because then i began to read. and i began to cry. comments were pouring in, and they were heartbreaking. i don't think anyone involved expected the magnitude of confessions that ensued. but they were honest, and they were raw. and somewhere hopefully God was being let in to heal these weary souls. if you are a person that believes in prayer & healing, i urge you to pray for these people. if you're emotionally capable i ask you to visit Mandy's blog & read through the comments to pray specifically for each broken heart that has opened up these last few days and i ask you to do so judgment free.
if you are one of the people that needs an anonymous place to reveal a burden, i would greatly suggest using Mandy's open call for anonymity. it's cathartic, it's a sigh of relief, it's a place to see you're not alone.
because of so many things i went through as a child i had some serious issues growing up. one of those issues was depression. but so many people didn't know about so many parts of my life that they never understood why i was depressed, they didn't understand what was going on. the worst thing i ever heard...and i heard it *a lot* was, "there are people worse off than you". yup, it still makes me feel like crap. it is true that there are people out there going through things worse than myself...however, *they* didn't even know what i was going through at the time. all i needed was somewhere safe to let it all out. i never had that place...i was never allowed to be transparent. but Mandy has offered an open call. a safe place to let things go if you need to, to make a confession you might not otherwise make. i encourage you to stop by MandyThompson and let it out, or stop by and pray.
sometimes, God reminds me that i went through these things, that my life was not easy, for a reason. because He wanted to use me. because He wanted to show me that even a screwed up kid like me had a purpose in this world. that someday my story could help someone else...if only i'd let Him.
thank you all for your support, prayers, & love.